funny6

Q. Were you long in the hospital?
A. No, I was the same size that I am now!

Q. What button won't you find in a tailor's shop?
A. A Belly button!

Q. How did the farmer fix his jeans?
A. With a cabbage patch!

Q. What stories do the ship captain's children like to hear?
A. Ferry tales!

Q. What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A. A minnie van!

Q: How did the telephones get married?
A. In a double ring ceremony!

Q: Why did the child study in the aeroplane?
A: He wanted a higher education!

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!

Q: Do you know the time?
A: No, we haven't met yet!

Q: What kind of hair do oceans have?
A: Wavy!

funny5

nock, knock!
who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Earl
Earl who?
Earl be glad to tell you when you open the door.

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Emma
Emma who?
Emma bit cold out here, will you let me in?

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Howl
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door?

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo beep beep!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Aardvark
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a million miles, for one of your smiles...

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Cows
Cows who?
No they don't, they moo!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Albert
Albert who?
Albert you don't know who it is!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Twit2
Twit2 who?
You sound like an owl!

Knock, knock!
who's there?
Duey
Duey who?
Duey have to keep telling me Knock, knock jokes???

funny4

Q: Who is the dogs favourite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell garage

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chickens day off.

Q: What do you give a sick pig?
A: Oinkment!

Q: How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose touches the ceiling.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A: Big holes all over Australia!

Q: Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
A: Because Frost bites.

Q: What game do cows play at parties?
A: Mooosical Chairs.

Q: What do you give a horse with a cold?
A: Cough stirrup!

funny3

Q: Why did the King go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned.

Q: What do you call a three legged donkey?
A: A wonkey.

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk.

Q: why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white?
A: A zebra caught in a revolving door.

Q: What do dogs eat at the cinema?
A: Pup-corn!

Q: What's a snakes favourite subject in class?
A: Hissssstory.

Q: Why do monkeys have big noses?
A: Because they've got big fingers.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: a bulldozer!

funny2

Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: e-clipse it!

Q: What did the frog order at McDonald's?
A: French flies and a diet Croak

Q: Why did the frog say meow?
A: He was learning a foreign language.

Q: What do little ghosts drink?
A: Evaporated milk.

Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
A: Just before someone screams.

Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
A: "How do you boo?"

Q: What did the policeman say when a spider ran down his back?
A: "You're under a vest!"

Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
A: So they can fight knights.

Q: How does a witch tell time?
A: She looks at her witch watch.

Q: What would you find on a haunted beach?
A: A sand witch.

funny1

Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?
A: Stinkerbell

Q: What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
A: No thanks, I'm stuffed!

Q: Why is six scared of seven?
A: Because 7-8-9!

Q: What do you call a ship that lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A: A nervous WRECK!

Q: Why did the golfer wear two sets of pants?
A: In case he got a whole in one!

Q: What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?
A: Nothing. It just waved.

Q: What did the little light bulb say to it's Mum?
A: I wuv you watts and watts.

Q: What tools do you need in math class?
A: Multi-Pliers

Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
A: Take me to your weeder

Q: Where did the king keep his armies?
A: Up his sleevies